Some tips on the road to change

Let’s face it, bringing about change in your life is no easy task. The expression ‘Old habits die hard’ is a confirmation of the fact, yet if you really want to bring about change your old habits will eventually die.

Here are some tips that can help you on the road to change.

The need for change. The first step is being aware of the habit and the fact that it is no longer serving you. There needs to be a real need to want to change, otherwise why bother. Then it becomes a forcing and that never works. You have to want to change.

Where do you want to go? Secondly knowing where you want to go to is also very important, if there is no direction for the new you, how can you possibly find your way. So by visualizing how you want your life to be is a very powerful tool in the creatief process of change.

Pretend as if you are already there. Another wonderful tool is pretending that you are already where you want to be. Fake it before you make it. At some point you will become that which you aspire to.

Nourish yourself.  There is an expression ‘you are what you eat’. This is not only referring to the food you eat, but what you nourish yourself with. For example music is food for the soul, ideas are food for the mind. So Surround yourself with people and things that will nourish and support you.

Practice mildness. Finally and most importantly practice mildness with yourself every step of the way. Change is a bumpy road full of ups and downs and the occasional pot hole. When your down pick yourself up dust yourself off and just keep going.

Is physical pain just a pain in the arse? Here are a few simple steps to help deal with pain

Last weekend there was an article in the “Sir Edmund” from the Volkskrant newspaper referring to a staggering 2.4 million people living in The Netherlands who are suffering from chronic pain.

The problem with pain is that it is painful. However, pain has a very important function, it protects us from hurting ourselves any further. If you put your hand on a hot stove the intense pain ensures that you remove your hand from the danger, thus avoiding further injury. And that is just one of the innumerable pain signals that your body sends, each one providing particular information as to the urgency of the action required to keep you healthy & safe. In the case of muscular pain & tension this is something that many people deal with on a daily basis, yet the urgency is not always present.

So pain is the messenger sent out to help us. To warn you, to keep you in balance, to keep you healthy and to keep you safe. The only problem is is that we want to kill the messenger, with such things as “pain-killers”. Let’s face it pain isn’t pleasant and it is never convenient. But what if, instead of killing the messenger you sat down and listened to the messenger and payed attention to the messenger? Here below are a few steps that can help you better deal with physical pain & tension.

How to deal with & release pain

Step 1 Observing – by sitting down quietly and taking a few minutes to direct your attention to the pain you are experiencing and just simply observing what is present, without judgement and without an agenda or the need to change the situation.

Step 2 Welcoming – once your attention is directed to the pain, try welcoming the pain. As I mentioned pain is there to help you and not to hinder you. It’s your body’s way of saying I need some attention here. So try even to be thankful that your body wants to help. This may take some practise

Step 3 Listening – after welcoming the pain, stay sitting quietly observing the pain. See if you notice any change in what you are feeling. If you are truly listening and not just saying to yourself this is stupid or I’d wish the pain would just go away or what am I doing here, then perhaps you may notice the pain has lightened or shifted. If this is the case then you have successfully communicated with your pain. By doing this regularly you will perhaps notice a change in how you feel and the pain you are experiencing.

These steps above are taken out of a technique which I regularly use with my clients and with great success. If you are interested in learning the full technique then please contact me via Please note that places are very limited as I only work with small groups.

I would love to hear your comments and experience with these steps.

Are you truly taking your personal health & well-being seriously?

“Well-being is one of the strongest determinants of an individual’s health; it fundamentally affects behaviour, social cohesion, social inclusion and prosperity.” – Lancaster city council mental health

For many years I gave chair massages to personnel from various companies. Something that always surprised me was the amount of people that came too late or didn’t even turn up at all for their weekly massage. The most common reasons given were ‘I didn’t realise the time’ or ‘I forgot’. This was a regular occurrence and mostly the same people. Funnily enough these same people were never late for a work related appointment and were often the ones who needed the massages the most.

So what is it about personal health & well-being that it receives such a low priority with so many people? This is where Pandora’s box gets opened with the endless amount of reasons why this does not happen. “I am way to busy”, “I have been meaning to get around to it”, “I just don’t have the time for that sort of thing” or “I wish I had more time”, “It doesn’t seem to help”, “I can manage”, etc, etc…

Why wait until it is too late? Personal health & well-being only seems to become a priority when you are sick or when you are no longer able to ignore the physical pain & discomfort, so basically when you have no other choice. The reality is that when you are sick, then you have a “good reason” to stop. But consider this, if you start listening more intently to what your body is telling you and take timely action, you can increase your chances to avoid the sometimes long and costly road to recovery.

It does not have to be this way. I guess that is one of the main reasons that I do this kind of work, because I realised for myself, it does not have to be this way, there is always a choice. And if this applies to me then it applies to everyone else, there is always a choice. You can always choose a different path. However, I never said it that it will be easy, because it will not be easy. Breaking old patterns takes time and energy, there is a lot of falling down and picking yourself back up again. However, I can tell you that it is certainly worth it, that you are worth it. By working on yourself, not only will YOU be benefiting from it, but all of those around you will also benefit from it.

Start with small steps. “Rome wasn’t built in a day” and leading a life where your personal health & well-being take a place of greater priority may seem like a bridge to far. However, by making gradual changes makes the transition smoother and the chance for lasting change more attainable.

The golden rule to bringing about lasting change is by being mild and supportive of yourself and surrounding yourself with people who are positive and supportive towards your desire to change.

Do you really want to bring about change yet don’t know where to begin? Then I invite you to contact me via for a no obligation introductory session and learn about how you can realise the changes you desire.

More tips to deal with tension & stress – during working hours

In my last post I mentioned the benefits of grounding and creating a solid foundation. Here are some simple tips that can help reduce tension & stress while you are at work.

Let’s start with something really obvious, yet it is something that so many people do not do. That is taking a pause during your working day. And I don’t mean sitting in front of your computer and eating a sandwich or walking to the coffee machine for the next caffeine hit. No, I am talking about something that is really going to help you feel more relaxed, less stressed and probably more effective with your work.

Tip 1 Taking a short meditative walk. The average lunch pause in The Netherlands is 30 minutes which is more than enough time to go outside and take a walk. Put your phone on flight mode and set a timer for at least 10 minutes. This way you won’t get the urge to take a look at your messages etc. It is important not to rush, take your time. Be aware of your breath and every step you are making. It is not about how far you walk, but all about how aware you are while doing it.

By doing so you are giving your mind a task to do, which will help reduce thought. This practice will make you more relaxed and more alert ready for the rest of your day. Why not give it a try and see for yourself.

Tip 2 A Sitting meditation. If you are someone who is always on the go, going from meeting to meeting, perhaps going for a walk is the last thing you want to do. For a long time I gave chair massages once a week and I was always standing. So in my break I would go and sit outside against a tree along the canal that was nearby and meditate. I would put my phone on mute and set a timer for a minimum of 10 minutes. During the 10 minutes I followed my breath as it entered my body, feeling my body expand and then upon exhaling noticing the breath leaving my body as it contracted once more. If the weather made it impossible then I would find a nice spot inside, generally by a window and do the same.

Try and make this part of your daily routine, make an appointment with yourself. Put it in your agenda and treat it as seriously as any other appointment that you make for your work. Remind yourself that this is going to make you more effective and less stressed. Feel the difference for yourself.

If you found this helpful or you have some questions and would like to know more, then feel free to contact me at